Balancing Family Time And Work Schedules

Contributed by Elaine Landau

A friend of mine had a full-time position that took her away from her family. She missed a few dance recitals and a key soccer match. What did she do? She awarded herself the Bad Mom of the Year award then promptly quit her full-time job to freelance. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Fast-forward a few months, my friend was locked behind her home office door, frantically typing a presentation for a client with impossible deadlines, but he paid her invoices on time. Her daughter knocked on the office door and asked for homework help. My friend told her daughter to ask her father to help her. Her oldest son came to the door to ask for money. Again, my friend kept typing and told her son to talk to his father. When someone came knocking, she didn’t even ask what he or she needed. She just said that she was on a deadline and could not be interrupted.

After a while, the knocking stopped and her typing continued uninterrupted…until the home phone rang. She could hear through her closed office door that nobody was answering. The phone kept ringing and ringing, so she stopped typing, furiously sprang from her desk chair and answered the phone. On the other end was her neighbor. The neighbor was calling to tell my friend that her youngest son had been taken by ambulance to the hospital because he broke his leg falling from a tree. My friend was perplexed. She had been home the whole day and nobody told her. Her neighbor said that her kids kept knocking on her door, but she kept typing. So, in her effort to work at home to be there for her family, my stressed-out friend ended up not being there when she was really needed. Once again, she was front-runner for the Bad Mom of the Year award and had no idea how to fix the problem.

How can you find a balance?
In an effort to be more balanced, it is wise to grab your schedule by the lapels, wrestle it to the ground, and get control of your time. Unfortunately, with only 24 hours in a day, we have limitations. So, now is the hard part. You need to make choices. What are you willing to give up in order to gain time in another area in your life?

Is your plate too full?
Sometimes striving to improve yourself is causing damage. For example, if you are trying to better yourself with a night course in QuickBooks® because you want a promotion, consider online QuickBooks courses. You can learn at home, at your own speed, within your own timetable. If your job requires a lot of research, basic computer education and basic Internet training are available 24/7. Free Internet lessons and free Internet tutorials are also available. With training, you can do the required research after hours so that soccer game does not have to be sacrificed and you don’t have to miss another dance recital.

Just say NO
“No” can be a horrible word. It makes your kids cry and your boss cringe. But it is an honest word and one that should be used more often by overly stressed-out parent-workers. Don’t volunteer for every parent/school activity and don’t always sign up for overtime to impress the higher-ups.

Just say YES
Say, “yes” to family vacations and mini-retreats. A change of scenery is great for everyone in the family and helps each of us to not take everything so seriously. Say, “yes” to eating together as a family. As schedules get fast-paced and we all go in different directions, families can lose track of each other just by skipping meals and not taking opportunities to talk. If you elected to be a parent, make sure to be the best parent you can be without putting yourself in the hospital.

Something old, something new
Keep family traditions alive. Sunday dinner with everyone in attendance is a good one. And if you feel that work has hurt family time, fix any possible damage by creating new family traditions. Make pizza together every Friday night. Always go to a matinee as a family on Saturday afternoons. It may sound a little Leave-It-To-Beaverish, but the rewards far outweigh the inevitable comments from the kids.

Communicate with your superiors
You might be amazed at how Human Resources and your superiors are able to help when stress seems to be winning over your life. If all superiors see is an exhausted employee turning in substandard work, they might just think that person would be better off working someplace else. That is why you should talk to them. They are people too. They might suggest a schedule change or hour-reduction, if that works for you. They have invested time in you as an employee. Chances are they want to make things work.

Stress kills
Stress is a killer. It makes you gain weight, lose weight, become depressed, and become obsessed. By managing your stress, you will be a stronger person.

And there is no Bad Mom of the Year award. So you don’t have to stress about that at all.

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