Listening Is Harder Than You Think

by Andrew E. Schwartz

Researchers have discovered that most of the daily communicating we do is in the form of listening. It is mainly by listening that we receive the vital information needed to make decisions, perform roles, and cope with the realities surrounding us. It is a little embarrassing or humbling to admit that we have some deficiencies in listening. But we have a good excuse. Whoever taught us to listen? We were all taught to read, write, speak, but at no time was a course offered in listening. Our listening training, if it could be called that, consisted of admonitions: “Pay attention,” “Open your ears,” “Listen". Our poor listening habits may result in conflicts, costly errors, and inefficiency. It is common knowledge that organizations that thrive and prosper year after year are organizations that spend money and energy on interpersonal skills training, including communication skills that focus on listening.

The paradox of the human listening function is that although it may seem like the easiest and most effortless of all communication functions (writing, speaking, reading, and listening) it is, in reality, the most difficult and requires the most effort—and skill—to perform properly. The reason for this is that in speaking you initiate the ideas and the easily anticipated flow of words to express them. In listening, however, another person initiates the ideas and the words that strike your ears and enter your brain as totally new information. Studies have shown that in listening most people miss most of this information—and nobody notices.

The following are some barriers that affect our ability to listen:

• Preoccupation with your own thoughts can prevent you from hearing and becoming involved in what others are saying.
• Hostility or anger may be carried over from a recent experience and distort the message.
• Emotionally charged words in a message may block listening or “turn you off.”
• A perceived difference in power of status between sender and receiver may cause communication problems.
• Stereotyping a speaker’s appearance, accent, or speech pattern can obstruct communication.

The physical environment may present noise or visual distractions. Keep these in mind next time you are in the position to listen.