Cyberstalking: Something to Stalk About

Contributed by Elaine Landau

What do you have in common with David Letterman and Madonna? A gap in your front teeth? Perhaps. Both of these celebrities have had highly publicized problems with stalkers. So what does that have to do with you?

You may have a stalker targeting you right now and you don’t even know it.

But wait a minute. You’re not rich or famous. That means you’re safe, right? Wrong.

Does this sound like you?
Scenario One. You are single and meet a nice guy. Dating is fun, but with time he becomes physically or emotionally abusive. You want out, but he becomes obsessive and controlling. No matter what you do, he won’t go away. Your boyfriend has now become your stalker.

Scenario Two. Upon entering an elevator, you smiled at the man who was already on the elevator. It wasn’t flirtatious; just a nice thing to do. The encounter is forgotten until you bump into the same guy in the corner store. Coincidence? Maybe. But if that same person shows up at your door because he just happened to notice where you live, you now have a problem.

Scenario Three. You have achieved a level of celebrity at work, such as being honored as Employee of the Month. Perhaps your picture is posted on the central bulletin board or you are awarded a parking space. The perks are fun and well wishers come out of the woodwork. You may also get the added bonus of a secret admirer. You may enjoy it at first, but in time the anonymous attention becomes unnerving. You don’t know who the person is, but he seems to know everything about you. You feel that your safety is being compromised.

These three scenarios are examples of “real-life” stalking. A disturbing twist to this phenomenon is called cyberstalking. Cyberstalkers are individuals who harass and terrorize their victims via emails, instant messaging, and other online communications to introduce themselves into their victims’ lives.

Real-Life vs. Cyber Harassment
Real-life stalkers and cyberstalkers have a lot in common. Obsessed and driven, they want to control their victims by terrorizing them. Online, stalking can be done anonymously. If the stalker can remain unknown to his/her victim, it can keep the victim off-balance and more susceptible to cruel mind games.

Real-life stalkers tend to harass people they know or at least think they know. Living or working in the same area, they use physical contact to intensify the hunt and demonstrate control over their victims.

Unfortunately, with the Internet, cyberstalkers have a longer reach and can prey on victims in other cities, states, and countries. Cyberstalkers, as with real-life stalkers, are experts at exploiting our basic human need for attention, many times with tragic results.

How Do Cyberstalkers find their victims?
Your online activities say a lot about you. You provide an enormous amount of personal information online that a sick-minded individual can use to exploit your fears and anxieties.

Online predators lie to gain victims’ trust, often with devastating results. If a victim does not welcome the unwanted advances, the stalker could post misinformation about the victim, initiating an overall feeling of helplessness in the victim’s daily existence.

Who’s A Target?
Anyone logging onto the Internet is a potential victim, but stalkers tend to gravitate to Internet newbies. Stalkers seek submissive Internet users so that they can control them. Children and emotionally dependant females are favorite targets. Predators are very adept at focusing on Internet users who are not savvy. But how do you learn the Internet? Free Internet lessons can introduce you to the best ways to utilize this wonderful resource. Free computer lessons and free computer online training will familiarize you with computer jargon. Predators can spot chatroom neophytes by the way they do or do not use popular phrases. One online computer class may just remove you from the crosshairs of a predator.

After Internet predators target their victims in chatrooms, they lure the individuals into opening up about feelings of depression, sadness and loneliness. Unfortunately, those confessions are invitations to terrorize. Anyone seeking friendship or romance is decidedly weak in the minds of cyber predators and can be manipulated.

Children are targeted online by pedophiles 24 hours a day. Parents need to be vigilant about screening emails to be sure they really know who the online friends are. Emails from predators can contain child pornography to ease kids into thinking that kind of behavior is okay because other kids do it. Both children and parents need to be educated about the pitfalls of the Internet.

Should You Unplug the Computer?
No. The Internet is a valuable resource for adults and children alike. It should not be avoided because of the potential danger of attracting a cyberstalker. By being smart and aware of how the Internet is being used in your home, you can remain one step ahead of a predator. Communicate with your children so they are not lured into an unhealthy online relationship without your knowledge. Teach them, and yourself, not to offer personal information no matter how tempting the offer or the online conversation. Blogs and chatrooms are fun, but participate with personal safety in mind. There are software programs available that can actually block the computer user from providing personal information.

A Final Thought
Unless you know the person prior to contacting them on the Internet, people on the Internet are strangers. No matter how much in common they may have with you, do not trust them with personal information that could be used against you. Cyberstalkers are on the lookout for their next victim every time someone logs on. They are just looking for an invitation to harass. Don’t give them one.

About the Author:
Elaine Landau is a freelance writer, publicist, web site editor, and produced television writer with more than 15 years of experience in marketing, advertising, and publicity.

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