Feedback: Constructive Criticism
Or Just Being Mean?
Contributed by Elaine Landau
As a writer, you are told that writing is all re-writing. You may be finished writing a piece, but you are never done. Why? Because you can always go back and tweak a word, shorten a phrase, edit a tone, or just start over. Being your own worst critic can be stifling, but the end product could be very impressive because of all that nit-picking. But what if the picking is coming from someone else? Do you have to listen? Do you have to do what they say?
Friends, Family and Other Critics
The first time you ever had to give a speech or sing a solo, chances are you performed in front of your family. You were young, nervous, and probably really didn’t want an honest reaction. You just wanted approval and praise.
Fast-forward to adulthood. You are now being asked to speak in front of other professionals, so you rehearse in front of your family. You do want honest feedback. From your attire to your demeanor, you want them to be honest. They love you and care for you, so they want you to succeed.
If this sounds familiar, you have taken a step in the right direction. You have matured and are willing to listen to feedback. You are open to change.
Ready… Set… Ouch!
It is very tough to hear others criticize us. Well-meaning feedback might hurt our feelings, but it could help in the long run. If the feedback is presented as dispassionately as possible, feelings might be spared and resentment kept at a minimum.
First and foremost, seek feedback from those you trust. Seeking opinions just because you aren’t hearing what you want to hear or you just want to please everyone is a waste of time. If someone is giving you honest feedback, listen. Just listen. Don’t argue or explain. Even if you don’t agree with the feedback, thank the person who wanted to help you. Honesty is a rare commodity. Embrace it, don’t shun it.
Take a good hard look at yourself, without prejudice, and see if any of the suggestions made would actually improve you as a job candidate, employee, or all-around person. It’s tough, but remember that you have matured to the idea that you don’t need constant praise. You want to always improve.
Is Your Tie too Wide?
Many employees feel that if they arrive on time and put in a full day’s work, they are doing a fine job. Who cares what they wear as long as they produce? Unfortunately, we live in a very superficial world. You only have one chance to make a first impression.
Junk the old shoes. They are scuffed and dated. Employers might think that you are scuffed and dated. Feedback concerning appearance feels very personal, but it has a direct impact on your professional life. If you arrive for an interview dressed for a day at the beach or hopelessly lost in the sixties, a future employer just might not give you the time of day. Remember, he/she sees every candidate as a potential ambassador of his company.
You might think, if you look so bad, why didn’t your buddies at the office tell you? Unfortunately, nobody will tell an employee that their appearance is hindering their career because, in this politically correct, litigious, professional environment, even well-meaning criticism could turn into a lawsuit.
Is Feedback Compatible with Compatibility?
Employers review hundreds of resumes before determining which candidates they would like to bring in for interviews. If your cover letter and resume are impressive, you will be asked to come back for that interview. Congratulations, now don’t blow it.
Unless you are interviewing for the CEO position, employers are looking for good team players. A true competitive edge is being able to convince a potential employer that you would be a true asset to any team.
You always want to present yourself as someone who is willing to accept and give feedback that will benefit the company and its employees. For example, if an employee is always tardy turning in weekly reports, that employee should be advised of the tardiness. Hopefully, the feedback will be accepted and the behavior will change. Chances are, that employee is also tardy in other aspects of his/her life, so the feedback will help in many of life’s arenas.
Jurassic Park is Okay for the Movies, but not Your Training
Employers are not impressed with people who sit back on their laurels. If a job candidate knew how to do PowerPoint® a year ago, that candidate would do well to find an advanced PowerPoint tutorial. If a candidate has a basic computer education, employers want to hear how their training has continued through online tutorials, basic Internet training, and computer software training. When employees depend on past awards and dated expertise, they may be considered archaic and will lose opportunities that will go elsewhere.
Performance Reviews, Validation, and Other Good Things
Employers are wise to set up periodic performance reviews of employees. In those reviews, praise should be given when it applies, and constructive criticism needs to be expressed. Feedback should be in written form so that the employee can review it periodically. When changes are made, that will be noted in the next review. If changes are not made, that is also noted.
Don’t Kill the Messenger
Remember, feedback is a good thing. When feedback is given, don’t get defensive. Listen. And be thankful someone cares enough about you to help you succeed.
PowerPoint is a registered trademark of Microsoft Corporation in the U.S. and other countries.
About the Author:
Elaine Landau is a freelance writer, publicist, web site editor, and television writer with more than 15 years of experience in marketing, advertising, and publicity.
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